We
all have or will experience loss of a loved one. It’s important
to be aware of these stages of grief and to be sure we have gone through
a healthy grieving process. Many clients of mine are still
grieving – stuck in the first few stages – years after their loved one
has died. Grieving properly ensures a healthy life and acceptance of
death…even one’s own. According to Swiss psychiatrist
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, there are five stages of grief:
One of the first reactions is Denial, wherein the survivor imagines a false, preferable reality. When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, it becomes frustrated, especially at proximate individuals.
Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; ‘”Who is to blame?”; “Why would God let this happen?”. Anger sets in.
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Other times, they will use anything valuable against another human agency to extend or prolong the life. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise. This is referred to as Bargaining.
“I’m
so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die soon so what’s
the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?”During the fourth stage, Depression,
the individual becomes saddened by the certainty of death. In this
state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much
of the time mournful and sullen.
Finally, with time and healing, you can gain Acceptance; “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.” In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.
Pay attention to these stages for yourself, your loved ones or your clients.
