Everyone looks forward to getting together with family during the holidays. Reliving beloved traditions and celebrating sacred events helps ground us in our heritage and allows us to spend quality time with those we hold most dear.
For many Americans, holidays are the only time they see their parents. For some, it may have been a year or more since they last spent time with loved ones. This provides an excellent opportunity to check in and see how they’re coping with the challenges of aging. Many children go home to discover a formerly healthy parent looking thin or frail, or a once immaculate home in disarray. These can be signs that a parent may need some outside help in managing their day-to-day activities.
Other signs that a parent may no longer be living safely include:
- Weight loss
- Memory loss
- Unpaid bills
- Inability to get around easily
- Mood swings/depression
- Excessive clutter around the house
- Limited or spoiled food in the refrigerator
- Expired prescriptions in medicine cabinet
Such changes can be a shock to many adult children and they may have difficulty talking to their parents about the changes in their condition or getting them the help they need. Starting a conversation about these topics can be awkward, in part because family roles have shifted. As a youngster, you had to listen to your parents giving advice and may have chosen to ignore their counsel at times. Now you want them to hear your concerns. Additionally, these are sensitive topics, where intentions can be easily misunderstood – parents may mistake a concern for their well-being as an attempt to erode their independence.
But when your loved one’s safety is at stake, the alternate to not having a conversation could have disastrous consequences. Experts agree that the best time to have such conversations is before a crisis occurs. A series of smaller conversations – over a cup of coffee or an evening cocktail – can pave the way to consensus on actions to take in the future.
If you feel your parents are already in crisis or have a situation that needs immediate attention, an AMR Care Manager may be able to help. A care manager will assess your parents’ current living situation including physical and mental health, home safety, support systems, and financial and legal issues. We can then develop a plan of care and help you and your family implement it.
Reuniting with family during the holidays provides an excellent opportunity to assess your loved one’s living situation and help them get the help they need if they’re showing any of the signs mentioned above. AMR Care Group has helped hundreds of families navigate the challenges of aging and assisted them in living lives of independence, dignity and purpose.
