There are few things in life more devastating than a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, both for the person receiving the diagnosis and their families. Knowing that the person you’ve shared so much of your life with may soon not recognize who you are seems unthinkable. The future, which may have seemed so bright and full of promise, may now seem uncertain.
After a diagnosis, it helps to develop a plan of action while the affected person is still able to articulate their wishes. This includes establishing some guidelines for care, determining alternate living possibilities, and meeting potential financial obligations that the future may bring. Here are some things you can do to help meet the challenges that may accompany a diagnosis of dementia.
Appoint a Health Care Proxy/Power of Attorney
Sit down with your family – including the person who received the diagnosis – to decide who should be charged with the ability to make medical decisions (Health Care Proxy) and financial decisions (Power of Attorney) on the person’s behalf when they are no longer able to do so. This can be the same person or two different people. Consult with an elder law attorney to best understand your options, what’s involved and to complete the formal documents that will make it all legal.
Plan ahead to ensure proper care
Most seniors prefer to live in their own home. If the spouse is still alive and healthy, it’s likely he/she will become the primary caregiver. But caregiving is a highly demanding role and requires the assistance of more than one person. Create a plan of who is available and when to assist with caregiving duties. If no family members are available, start researching for at home care companies who can help provide relief. If the caregivers and their loved one feel that a senior living community would be the best option, schedule some visits now to see which communities would be a good fit.
Develop a routine
As the disease progresses, anything new and different may appear threatening to someone with memory loss. People with dementia tend to thrive on familiarity. It helps ground them and make sense out of what may be becoming a more confusing world. When someone with memory loss recognizes something – like the morning newspaper, a walk to the park, or sitting down to watch a favorite TV show – the more they understand the world. A routine also make caregiving easier.
Learn how to communicate
Clear communication is often one of the first casualties of dementia. The first rule here is to enter their reality. If they say, “I’m so excited about Christmas tomorrow” in the middle of July, ask them to share some memories of their favorites Christmases. Many people with dementia still retain long-term memories and reminiscing is a good way to communicate. Don’t ever correct them or try to bring them into reality, as this can cause frustration. When talking with your loved one, always look them in eye and call them by name. Speak slowing and use short, simple sentences. Ask questions that can be answered “yes” or “no.” Also, learn to read their body language. For instance, if they’re fidgeting, it may mean they need to use the restroom.
Practice compassion
Caring for a person with dementia can be a disheartening experience. Being asked the same question several times in a short amount of time can become frustrating and tiring. Always remember that your loved one isn’t doing any of this on purpose and if they knew what was going on, they would most likely be ashamed. Look for the person who you knew and loved before the disease and help that person make the best of a challenging situation.
